How strange. Having lived in Calcutta and nyc for most of my life with a stint in rural uk for a year I am now in Paris in what I hope is my last big move. I actually find the people here (granted I’m not usually hanging out with a white French person but people from all over) are as warm as Indians who are amongst the most hospitable people. Well Arabs too I find this openness but Paris feels home much faster than most other places did .
Great for you. Capitals are usually quite different from rest of the country (not just in France). Also, places with International vibes tend to be quite similar culturally. What I mean is that moving between Dubai, Paris and San Francisco may give you much less of a cultural shock than moving between, say, Roubaix in France and Ypres in Belgium, just 30 minutes away but completely different. Stay well in Paris!
I had never thought that much about this as I'm not deeply familiar with a lot of cultures, but I think you're right that sharing food doesn't happen that easily here. I believe this is partly because meals are such a very big deal that people don't feel comfortable just handing someone a hunk of bread in their house. You're there for a specific food-related reason (including apéro of course, or goûter/tea, besides lunch and dinner) or you're not there to eat, although I have found people fairly quick to offer a coffee or something else to drink, even just a glass of water, if I'm just dropping by.
But of your three "horror stories," I only find the first example typically French. True, you generally don't initiate contact with people here by handing them your bag of chips.
For the soup story, I'm not so surprised the French person didn't offer you soup too, which would have put her under "meal pressure" -- and maybe she had no more soup! But I am surprised she ate in front of you at all. Did she not at least say "I'm sorry to have to eat in front of you but I'm in a rush to get back to work" or some such? I find that a bit odd and the whole thing not exactly typically French.
And I'm really surprised at the woman who enlisted help in her move and couldn't even manage to serve you all tea or at least something, and I think that is rude even by French standards. I believe French etiquette would dictate that she have drinks and snacks available to you, even just stuff from the supermarket. This incident doesn't sound typically French to me at all. But then again I find your reactions from locals a bit odd too, especially on the third incident. We've had people help with two moves and I somehow managed to feed them a meal despite the chaos of moving, which I remember feeling a bit annoyed about but my (French) husband felt it suitable and looking back, I think he was right.
How strange. Having lived in Calcutta and nyc for most of my life with a stint in rural uk for a year I am now in Paris in what I hope is my last big move. I actually find the people here (granted I’m not usually hanging out with a white French person but people from all over) are as warm as Indians who are amongst the most hospitable people. Well Arabs too I find this openness but Paris feels home much faster than most other places did .
Great for you. Capitals are usually quite different from rest of the country (not just in France). Also, places with International vibes tend to be quite similar culturally. What I mean is that moving between Dubai, Paris and San Francisco may give you much less of a cultural shock than moving between, say, Roubaix in France and Ypres in Belgium, just 30 minutes away but completely different. Stay well in Paris!
That is true
I had never thought that much about this as I'm not deeply familiar with a lot of cultures, but I think you're right that sharing food doesn't happen that easily here. I believe this is partly because meals are such a very big deal that people don't feel comfortable just handing someone a hunk of bread in their house. You're there for a specific food-related reason (including apéro of course, or goûter/tea, besides lunch and dinner) or you're not there to eat, although I have found people fairly quick to offer a coffee or something else to drink, even just a glass of water, if I'm just dropping by.
But of your three "horror stories," I only find the first example typically French. True, you generally don't initiate contact with people here by handing them your bag of chips.
For the soup story, I'm not so surprised the French person didn't offer you soup too, which would have put her under "meal pressure" -- and maybe she had no more soup! But I am surprised she ate in front of you at all. Did she not at least say "I'm sorry to have to eat in front of you but I'm in a rush to get back to work" or some such? I find that a bit odd and the whole thing not exactly typically French.
And I'm really surprised at the woman who enlisted help in her move and couldn't even manage to serve you all tea or at least something, and I think that is rude even by French standards. I believe French etiquette would dictate that she have drinks and snacks available to you, even just stuff from the supermarket. This incident doesn't sound typically French to me at all. But then again I find your reactions from locals a bit odd too, especially on the third incident. We've had people help with two moves and I somehow managed to feed them a meal despite the chaos of moving, which I remember feeling a bit annoyed about but my (French) husband felt it suitable and looking back, I think he was right.
This is not the country for you 😄 come back to Poland ✌️